Matchmaker, DON’T Make Me A Match
The only matchmaker I'd trust. (Yes, it's Bette Midler.) So…while in the depths of a horrible shift on Sunday, (a 20+ table section, which included 30 year old men high fiving each other because one of...
View ArticleLet’s Call The Whole Thing Off…But I’m Still Right
So…I had to go to a meeting at work on Monday. I was informed by my general manager (who looks like Uncle Fester’s long lost twin) that my goal as a server is to give customers the best possible...
View ArticleMerry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal
Trainer and Trainee: 7 years later So…I’ll take a break from my justified bitterness and post about something cheerful; only because there was epic amounts of booze involved. I went to the Cast Member...
View ArticleCan’t Get Enough…On Second Thought
"Some things I can't get used to, no matter how hard I try."- Barry White So…I’d like to make something very clear. I like a steak dinner, kissing (no tongue!) , hair petting and some smooth Barry...
View ArticleHow Low Can You Go?
So…it shouldn’t be too shocking that I agree 100% with this comment. While visiting my parents last week for our Colin Quinn adventure, my Dad, a teacher, told me that the high school district he...
View ArticleSuch Is Life
Then your cat gets titty cancer and you die alone. So…here are some true stories from my life that occurred in the past two weeks. I don’t really know what they say about me…how to become a hermit in...
View ArticleEye Roll
But please, you go ahead and continue being rude to my face. So…I must look like a priest because every day is like confessional. I don’t know why random strangers EVERYWHERE come up to me and tell me...
View ArticleFuzzy Lollipop Guild
#FLG So…a few of us at work were commenting on how extremely annoying chicks (like the kind who have baby voices…most likely because their uncle diddled them as a child) have boyfriends who willing put...
View ArticleYoung Americans
So…as I have said many times, I deal with an unusually high amount of idiots at my job…well, everywhere actually, they’re just more highly concentrated at my work. As I was getting my section ready one...
View ArticleIt’s Not Me, It’s You
What an inviting mascot…from your nightmares. So…after enough years at the same job, I quit. I worked there so long that I needed help from my roommate and friends to remember all the crazy ass stuff...
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